I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
