if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
