i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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