She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
