Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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