I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
