ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
