I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
