So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
