You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
