i already hear my dad disowning me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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