she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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