Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
