Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
