just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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