Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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