Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
