I bet he comes in French.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
