What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
