The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You are the jesus of drinking
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
