Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
