She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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