Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
