STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
