Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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