she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
