That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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