6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
