I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
