I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
