Porn is love you can see.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I love you.
Bad choice
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
