I accidentally had phone sex last night
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
