Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
please don't ironically join a cult
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