I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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