STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
