so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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