would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
