He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
