Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
