hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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