i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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