dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
