Your dad touched me again.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
