Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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