Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
