I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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