is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
