Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
