omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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