i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
